how hobbies are helping us bond

Patrick and I haven't always lived a well-balanced life. When he was in family practice residency, he especially didn't have many connections outside of work and family. I had a few friend groups that I visited with regularly, still, I lacked hobbies.

During his public health residency, which was less demanding of his time, Patrick picked up Dungeons and Dragons and similar gaming adventures. He had found an outlet for his creativity and had made time to bond with other "cool" guys. I wanted some hobbies too. I tried knitting, but didn't enjoy it.

Here in Texas, Patrick has resumed his gaming adventures and has even joined a spelunking group. He is doing more AND has more energy!

As a mom of two, I have found that I need to refuel more frequently. To that end, I have a couple of developing friend groups, I exercise regularly, and I reward myself with pedicures. I still felt the lack of growth and companionship that I was sure I'd find in hobbies.

One night, I rose to put down my thoughts and feelings. When I read them I realized that I was writing poetry. I hadn't written poetry in years. I've tried, but it didn't flow. Now, however, it flows! I feel like I've got my writing back ... and with it comes a hobby! One would think that poetry is an isolating passion. But that doesn't have to be the case.

I'm joining the San Antonio Poets Society and will join the other members once a month to share poetry, develop my craft, and enter contests. I'm also joining the Greater San Antonio Photography Club. I don't have a fancy camera yet, but that won't stop me ;) I'll mix and mingle, learn some tips, and then decide which camera suits my needs. This group also supports monthly contests. I'm excited: Not about the possibility of winning, but the fact that I am going to enter and learn from people who are enthusiasts about their crafts, people who are passionate.

My craft of late has been parenting. I am passionate about parenting. Sometimes I do it well, and sometimes not so much. I've surrounded myself with other people who are passionate about the children they are raising, other people who don't do it perfectly (or rather, who admit they don't do it perfectly), and who are willing to share and learn from others' best practices. The greatest lessons I've learned from parenting are that if I know what I want (in order to refuel me) and if I am willing to forgive myself ... the job is a lot easier. Now that I know what I want, I can get it ;)

Now, comes getting what I want in concert with my family. Patrick and I are balancing our schedules so we've both got the time we need for ourselves and for each other. Our goals are prioritized and we will both make exceptions as needed, but we've built our activities into our schedule and both are richer for it.


Wesley drew the above picture. It's a rainbow cave. Inside are his friends Roshan, Aidan, Collin, Daddy, Aspen (the one in the purple and green dress), Wesley, Boden, and "another Roshan." On the bottom right is an orange "people eating plant." To the left of the plant is the plant's plate of spaghetti (it had to eat something after the people kindly asked it not to gobble them up.

I like this piece of art. He started with the cave and his dad. I think it's neat that he knows his father has an activity that he enjoys, one that offers a reference for some of their time together (as Patrick has taken Wesley to a cave and to one of his spelunking meetings).

I knew that having hobbies would enrich us individually, what I didn't know was that those hobbies would enrich our cihldren's experience as a member of our family. I look forward to seeing how my poetry and photography enrich our family life. And I strongly encourage everyone to find an art, sport, hobby of some sort. If it's done right -- in an inclusive way, a way that spreads the passion -- the time away is not selfish, it's shared by all.