Today is a Double Latte Day

... and it's only 7 a.m.

I'll tell you why when I get back from Lowes. By the way, I printed off a coupon for $10 off a $25 purchase that I found at this blog site.

OK, so I'll be back to tell the tale of the late brother and how it led me to a rare $4.55 purchase at Starbucks.

***I'm back***

I was inspired to plant an herb garden today when I found and purchased 14 herbs for .50 each at Lowes. I even purchased 4 at regular price to round out the garden, which is around one existing blueberry bush. I plan to plant another bush and two rosemary bushes to complete the edible section of that bed. Behind the rosemary bushes I'll plant a climber of some sort, a hydrangea and some sort of fall bloomer to go with the mums over in a corner.

OK, enough about my Lowes spree, back to the story of the morning.

Last night my brother Glen called and wanted a ride to the airport. Sure, no problem, just get here at 5:15 (since you are also borrowing a suitcase and want to print out your ticket information) so we can leave around 5:45.

Patrick and I got up at 5 a.m. because Patrick also had to be at the airport this morning, though we could have slept in until at least 6/6:30.

5:45 rolls around: no Glen, no phone call.

Where is he? I wonder.

I call.

Oh, I'm 15 minutes away, he says ... OK, I say.

30 minutes later he shows up. He spends the next 10 minutes packing and then gets into the car and says, All I need is my I.D. card right?

Um, well, do you know which airline you are taking?

He goes inside to print up his ticket information ...

We arrive at the airport 45 minutes before his flight departs.

So, what did we talk about on the way there? Him.

I told him how angry I was that he didn't bother to call me and took for granted that it'd be no problem to wake up when we could have slept. And what about Wesley?

I made sure to tell him that I love him and that my criticism had nothing to do with who he is, but how he behaved, because I know he has the capacity to think for himself and to be responsible and respectful.

This is an important point anytime we give feedback to others or reprimand our children ... remember to focus on the what, not the who. I'm not sure about this, but it seems to me that guilt is felt when we do something wrong, and shame is felt when we wrap up the who with the do and feel that we -- in our core of cores -- are wrong because we did something wrong. Simply not true.

I didn't call him a jerk, lazy, or a dumby (which I have heard parents do all too often), but rather gave feedback on his actions and how they affected me and my family.

And here's another point ... "I'm just not responsible" or "I just don't follow through" (which he didn't say, by the way, he took everything I said to heart and didn't make excuses -- yeah, Glen, that's so hard sometimes) are not appropriate responses. Responsibility and follow through are not genetic traits, they are skills! If you don't have them, either deal with the consequences and accept your role in those consequences or develop the skill ... responsibility and follow through do come easier to some than others, but that doesn't make them a genetic trait, they are skills that can be learned by anybody.

***

OK, stepping off my soap box now.

So, you see, I went to SB to get a latte to have the energy to get through the day with a very active 2-year-old on only a few hours sleep. While in line Wesley opened his eyes long enough to spot the chocolate milk, point to it and say "that" and put his head back down on my shoulder and fall asleep.

And THAT's how I spent $4.55 at Starbucks.

At least I made up for it with my $10 gift card ... oh forget it .. I don't need excuses ... I wanted a latte, I bought a latte -- good night!