This is why I should ...

NOT attempt to listen to Patrick's research presentation and see him pick up his shared award for Outstanding Resident of the year with Wesley.


Can you blame him? Of course he'd rather be outside swinging on whatever he can find to swing on than inside sitting down and being quiet in a room of suit-clad people. What WAS I thinking?

So ... we left ... and we'll surprise daddy by taking him out for dessert tonight at our favorite place for dessert: Foster's Market. Read more!

And this is why ...

you DON'T leave a bag of pizza-flavored goldfish within a child's reach.

This was an "oh-well, let him have his fun" moment Read more!

Yes, I'm that Mom

You guessed it, that was me.

Yes, I am the mom who had a hard time at the grocery store's self checkout line today.

Yes, I am the mom who asked for help from the checkout lady.

Yes, I am the mom who told the woman I had already pressed the buttons she had told me to press.

Yes, I am the mom with the child who kept leaning on the bag holder and messing up the scale and reseting my transaction.

Yes, I am the mom who asked her son not to do that anymore and moved him to her other side.

Yes, I am the mom who returned her attention to the card reader when her son started to whine and complain.

Yes, I am the mom who kept her attention on the card reader when her son threw himself on the ground and started to kick and scream.

Yes, I am the mom who picked up two bags of groceries, a tantruming son, and turned to walk out the door.

Yes, I am the mom who said, "have a nice day."

Yes, I am the mom who wanted to cry when your eye brows sharpened into a "V" above your tight-lipped disapproving silence. Read more!

Thoughts on tantrums and being two

I am not sure where this blog entry is starting or going to go. For most entries I at least have an idea of what I want to mention.

Wesley's Aunt Casey took this picture while babysitting him last week. I attended a half-day of group therapy that I attend once a month, followed by two days of training in Transactional Analysis and Redicision Therapy.

I enjoy both the break from Wesley and the learning opportunity the training presents. One day I will really enjoy going to work as a therapist, when the real training begins. Thankfully, I'll have knowledge of a framework with which I can work and connections to people with whom I can consult when the time comes.

Until then, I am telling myself not to rush this phase of life -- the staying home phase. As difficult as this particular stage (raising a two and a half year old) can be, it will one day be no more. I have convinced myself that the tantrums and other familiar fights of this stage are normal and even beautiful. Now, if I could just convince the rest of the world ...

Unfortunately, some people assume that natural two-year-old behavior is a "problem" and that a "problem" with the child indicates a problem with the parent. What they don't know is that at two, when a child is up and running, talking up a storm, or on the ground flailing his/her arms and legs, the child is completely normal. There is no problem and there need be no excuse. What the parent does with that behavior can be a problem, but that's a much longer post than I would like to get into right now.

So, when you see a two year old throwing a tantrum, don't wonder why he's not sitting still and using his words like a "good" child or make up excuses like, "that poor child must be sick, that's the only way to explain the behavior, last time I saw him he was an angel." That completely annoying to the parent (this one at least) who knows beyond a doubt that the child is 1. still an angel and 2. completely normal.

Accept, at least in Wesley's case, that the parents are doing the best they can to meet the dueling survival needs cherished at once inside of the child: 1. the need for closeness and unity with the primary caretakers and 2. the need to identify himself as an individual who is separate and unique.

With patience, consistency, and firm boundaries, Wesley will find confidence on the other side of this battle.

You can probably guess some of the parenting frustrations that I have bumped into in the last week. Let's just say that I have reclaimed my confidence in my parenting, and it does not waiver with Wesley's moods, though others' perceptions may. I am confident that Wesley is uniquely Wesley, as God intended him to be. And that at the end of this journey he will know and cherish his uniqueness. Just in time for the next child to realize that he or she is in fact a separate being from the rest of the world ;)

So as much as I look forward to working and learning through doing in my field, I am concentrating on being right now: Being here for me and my family.

I think I'll talk about being vs. doing next time, because that too is on my mind lately. Read more!

Places we go ... principles that stay

Wesley and Emily went to the NC Museum of Life and Science today. It's a great place for children. Some of you have been there and seen the butterfly house, the remote control sailboats, the bears, and the giant playground, and can attest to the fun it offers.

Wesley likes to watch the videos of rocket launches and to climb inside a rocket capsule and pretend that he his taking off. "Five, four, three, two, one ... blast off!" he yells.

Today he briefly followed a group of six school children as they looked at native owls, turtles, snakes, alligators, etc. "Oh, wow," he repeated after the six year olds. "Hey, look at that, that's a big snake." Then he'd laugh with them and run to the next exhibit.

We had a lot of fun before returning home and playing with his trains. "Your turn, Mawmaw," he'd say if I hadn't looked up from my book in a couple of minutes. Then he'd take a train and put it in my hand.

The pictures in this post aren't from the museum. Unfortunately, I left the camera at home. Nope, these pictures were taken back in November when Patrick and I drove three hours to take Wesley to Tweetsie Railroad. We sure love our adventures!

He had more fun playing in the leaves and with the Thomas play table than riding a real live steam engine. I don't blame him: It was cold outside and the train was LOUD.

Just yesterday Wesley and I stayed in all day. We didn't even go in the backyard or walk to the park.

Nope, I had to clean.

I was folding laundry when I heard a quiet little voice repeating: "A pure heart. Oh God, my God. A pure heart. Oh God, my God." He mixed up the words a bit, but it didn't matter one bit to me. I beamed and delighted in hearing him spontaneously repeat words from a new prayer.

The actual prayer by Abdu’l-Bahá goes like this: "He is God! O God, my God! Bestow upon me a pure heart, like unto a pearl."

Those moments tell me that his most fun memories fade in value next to his most firm morals. And those, we can offer to him wherever we are.

Read more!

No need for an alarm clock!

We no longer need to set our cell phones to wake us up in the morning.

Ever since Wesley started falling asleep in his bed on his own between 7 and 8 p.m., we can count on hearing the pitter patter of little feet between 6 and 6:30 a.m. Sometimes that precious percussion is accompanied by "Mawmaw, Mawmaw ... !"

Then we hear the dogs as they rise to meet their little buddy (or bully depending on his mood) halfway down the hall.

Thank you, Wesley, for letting us the know the sun is rising and it's time for us to do the same! "Good morning, sunshine," he sometimes says, though usually it's "I wanna sit in high chair (and eat French toast)!"

If Mawmaw is lucky, Patrick has time to get up and Mawmaw can sleep in some more. If Mawmaw is not so lucky, Patrick is taking the dogs for a run and she needs to get up and start breakfast (and the coffee pot)."

A Sunday tradition is growing ... the invitation to eight furry paws to join us in the bed for morning cuddles. Wesley loves these moments. "Hug Rosie," he says as he forces her neck to comply to his arm's demands. "Kiss Rosie," he says as he puts his lips to her nose. This is the one strategy we both have to put between us and the inevitable words "I wanna sit in high chair!" Read more!